IS VERBAL ABUSE A FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Tommy, age 11 and his sister Abigail, age 9, launched into a breakfast food fight—started by Abigail. The mother was screaming at them to stop. Then their father, dressed in a suit and tie, came storming into the kitchen.

He turned to his wife and shook his fist. “You are useless. Either you learn how to be a mother or I’ll give them to someone who does!”
The food fight ceased immediately. The children ate breakfast in peace, giving quizzical looks at both parents then grabbed their lunches and book bags and headed out the door. Neither child said goodbye nor did their parents. So they were sent off to school with breakfast and hearts full of anger.

“Don’t you ever threaten to give our children away,” his wife said bitterly. “When are you going to learn how to be a father? Parents do not say such threatening things around or to children. So whatever triggered such a hateful remark needs to be handled.Grow up! And apologize to both of them when you get home!“

He took a sip of coffee and stared at her.“I have nothing to apologize for! You can’t seem to handle anything! There is nothing wrong with what I said. They were being brats and you were allowing it! I get enough pressure at work without having to deal with kids who think they can do anything and not be stopped. At least I stopped them!”

An hour after he left for work, the mother received a call from the school.
“We need to see you, Mrs. Johnson. Abigail is in the principal’s office now. Her father is on his way.”
She hastily dressed, her hands shaking, knowing this was going to be an awful confrontation. Abigail had hit a boy for calling her ‘stupid and useless’.

“Well,” the principal said, “Abigail, tell you parents what happened and why.”

She stammered and blurted out, “‘Cause my dad calls my mother that a lot. I’ve wanted to hit him before too.”

That statement now took verbal abuse to a new level . . . the stepping stone to Domestic Violence. According to the US Department of Agriculture, Safety, Health and Employee Welfare Division, verbal abuse often leads to Domestic Violence. The principal asked the parents to leave the room for a moment.

“Children? Can you tell me what happened this morning before school?”
Embarrassed, they each took their turn relating the morning events. When they were through, she asked the children to leave so she could talk to the parents.

The father took over the reins, changing the story to make his wife appear to be incapable as a parent. The principal told them both that the entire family needed counseling in order to resolve some of the issues. The father stood up, straightened his tie and said: “My wife needs the counseling. Not me. So if you will excuse me, I am late for work,” and stormed out of the principal’s office.

Variations of this same theme happen daily across the country. And if not handled appropriately, it can escalate to Domestic Violence. It is crucial that educators, friends, etc. encourage couples to get counseling. It can only get worse. And keep this in mind: No one knows just what happened that night when the husband returned from work.

WE ALL NEED TO GET INVOLVED----TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN, AND HOPEFULLY GUIDE THE ABUSIVE PEOPLE TO SEEK HELP! TOGETHER, WE CAN ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!