Signs of Domestic Violence in the Workplace: Helping a Coworker

You have noticed a coworker in the breakroom, or the bathroom whom you do not know well. She is shy but friendly. Over the past year, she has come to work with bruises on her face, not completely concealed by heavy makeup.  Last week, she showed up with a cast on her left arm.  You suspect she is being abused and want to help, but how? You do not know her well so you must be very cautious not to frighten her or jeopardize her job.

1.  First and foremost, gather information at home, not at the office.  Locate a list of Domestic Violence Shelters in the area with names, phone numbers and addresses.  Research Domestic Violence so you have a clear understanding of victims and what will be most beneficial for your coworker. Make a list and include: Domestic Violence laws in your state; her rights under the law; relatives living close to her who might be able to help.
2.  If your company has an employee manual, read it to see if there are any policies for Domestic Violence.
3.  Slowly begin to befriend her. Compliment her hair or clothing. Try and find out her birthdate. This will give you an "in" to invite her to lunch.
4.  You have noticed that while most of the employees go out for lunch, she eats at her desk. Take the next step by bringing your lunch to work. When you pass her office and see she is eating, knock lightly on her door. "Hi there," you say cheerfully. "I don't like eating alone. May I join you?"
5.  She is pleasantly receptive, quickly pulling up a chair for you. They talk about their children, the job. You bring up your husband, however, she does not offer any comments about her spouse.
6.  You know she is about your age, in her thirties. You exchange information about where you were born and your birthdates.
7.  "Great," you say. "I would love to take you to lunch. Deal?"
8.  She graciously accepts. It is only two weeks away.  "You pick the restaurant," I tell her.
9.  Prepare for the lunch date. Try and get her to talk. If you know someone in your family or friends who have been victims of domestic violence, let her know and take it from there. Promise her confidentiality between them. Give her the information you have gathered by saying,"I really like you and will help you in any way I can."
10. She is nervous but accepts the information. "I will have to keep it in my office," she says. "But thank you."
11. As they drive back to work, her coworker seems nervous but reaches over and touches your hand.
"Thank you for caring," she says.  "I want to be free!"